Hey Shoemoney and team, I’m writing this in two parts. First part is the reasons why I should be chosen and then the second part is like those old “choose your own adventure” books where I actually win and we have several possible endings.
The reasons why I should win:
Currently we are a group of affiliate marketers, seo dudes and programmers have a company kicking ass down here in sunny Orlando. We are no chumps to web marketing and have been at it for years.
We are at the tipping point for our company where we are almost there to being smooth sailing, but there are still some things that we are unaware of.
We are attending ASW11 where one of my partners, Greg Rollett, is speaking and actually overlapping your speech on Sunday. I am attending a private coaching session all day Saturday and paid a good chunk of change to do so. We live and breathe this stuff, but still are not big time ballers like yourself.
That is of course why I would love to get a platinum pass, because there are some really interesting panels that I would like to see. Some of the main ones are:
1. Banking On Infomercials
2. Mobile Marketing -97% Response Rate
3. Using Datafeeds to Monetize Sites – I really want to see this one because I spoke on this at Affiliate Unsummit in Orlando and there is a lot of stuff I don’t really know.
4. Mobile Affiliate Site Strategies
5. And of course – A Beginner’s Course on Blog Monetization
The 2 nights hotel accommodation’s would totally kick ass because currently we are staying a mile or two off the strip and would rather not have to take the drive.
The $500 airfare means I could probably cancel my flight with Southwest and not have to be herded like cattle and served shitty peanuts, I could actually fly business class on some other airline. We have a 6 hour flight so that would be sooooo appreciated.
Hell yeah I can handle the pressure of $2,000 on one hand of blackjack. I have my handy dandy card reading book and I have been watching 21 the movie over and over. I’m ready to totally lose that 2k and then go wallo and drink myself silly because of it.
I of course want to roll with you at Affiliate Summit, I mean every year you’re in all the pics, you always seem to have gorgeous girls hanging off your arms, you’re rolling with the top dogs being the top dog yourself. Who knows, you may just slip and tell me all kinds of good shit that I can use when I get back to Orlando. You might even spill the one tip that can set us over the edge (not only that but I ask a ton of questions and being able to ask you directly, would be extremely helpful).
On top of that, you could probably introduce me to the right people in the industry and I can then nurture those relationships once I get back home, time spent with you is the best part of this whole contest. I can buy tickets, airfare, piss money away….but I can’t buy my way into chilling with the” in crowd” that can open the door to knowledge, but I know you can show me the door. That is worth more than money to me.
A PASS TO THE PLAYBOY MANSION – Hell yeah I want to go to that. Honestly how many people can say that they have done that. I will be updating my facebook wall constantly, building the massive amounts of jealousy in every dude that is a friend of mine. I will be telling my grandkids about that….just the part of attending.
So I actually won!!!!
Ending 1 I attend all of the sessions each day soaking in all the knowledge like Lawnmower Man (that shitty movie from the nineties), I then have that one part that really sticks out in the several days that takes our business from 5 figures a month to 7 figures a month. I then proceed to buy an island and running gambling sites and a bank where all the affiliates can hide their money from Uncle Sam.
Ending 2 I take that $2k and lay it down and go double or nothing 10 times over and win!!! I buy everyone that is attending affiliate summit a free drink. Then I go back to playing quarter slots and hanging with old ladies smoking Misty 100’s, I lose all my quarters and later can’t play flip cup.
Ending 3 I roll with Shoemoney at Affiliate Summit, I hire someone just to walk behind us with a boom box playing Superfly on repeat as we stroll through the meat market. When we walk into a banquet hall I have my hired dove releaser guy – release a dozen doves as we walk in….one of the doves shits in Dennis Yu’s eye.
Ending 4 I roll with you to the Playboy Mansion, Heff sees my sheer brilliant way I can tell if a women is hot or not, we start our own show called “the boys next door”, which is basically me and a group of friends that get a condo down the street and a bunch of telescopes. We film ourselves watching the “girls next door” with Xzibit. That show ends up sucking really bad too, but we don’t get pregnant.
There it is Shoemoney – See you in Vegas. I really hope you chose me, we will have a really good time.